


No, I Haven't Seen the Cat

by Anathema_Cat



Series: King Fíli [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Fíli and Kili Lived and Thorin Died - or Abdicated, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5877505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anathema_Cat/pseuds/Anathema_Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I originally posted this on <a href="http://anathema-cat.tumblr.com/post/128722839741/100-no-i-havent-seen-the-cat-shifty-eyes">Tumblr</a> for the 2015 FiKi Summer Fandom Raffle Exchange. The awesome prompt was "No, I haven’t seen the cat *shifty eyes*". Naturally my first thought was that some harm had befallen said cat; however, being a cat lover, I had a hard time with that. I then thought about all the people I've known who Hate Cats yet love a specific cat (or two). I could just see a certain dwarf who I am certain would make a wonderful king (his physical hotness may or may not influence that opinion) falling into that category.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No, I Haven't Seen the Cat

**Author's Note:**

> "Original Cat Character(s)" is an official tag. :D

Fíli sighed contentedly as he snuggled deeper into the bed. He felt blissfully non-kingly curled on his side with the blankets tucked just under his chin. The late fall chill seeping into the mountain wasn’t quite cold enough to require fires, and the cool air on his face contrasted nicely with the heat under the covers. He nearly purred as his eyelids slid shut.

He was just missing one thing, his consort, his Kíli, but he’d be along soon enough, and Fíli was too tired and warm to be very bothered. He also had a nearly acceptable substitute.

Fíli half woke to a crash from the common room. He settled back down as he realized it was Kíli coming in a bit too inebriated, even though he was never so loud. “Buttercup,” Kíli hiss-yelled, startling Fíli into nudging the ginger monster away from him with his knee. She wouldn’t go willingly, and he was forced to reach down and push the warm body out of the covers and onto the floor.

It hissed, and Fíli rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky I let you up here at all, you little orc-spawned devil,” he whispered.

“And don’t tell him.”

The bedroom door swung open. Fíli slowed his breathing just in time as Kíli murmured the cat’s name again. 

“Oh there you are, darling, come here,” Kíli whispered. “You scared me, sweet pea. Why aren’t you in your bed?”

Fíli nearly sighed. Kíli treated the cat he’d found wandering the newly rebuilt part of Dale like a princess. "Useless creature," he whispered under his breath as he drifted off.

~~~

Fíli stretched, rolling over and hooking an arm around Kíli. “Good morning, love.”

“Mm, Fee.” Kíli snuggled in closer, then, “Oh, I’m sorry-.”

“Shh, not ready to wake up.”

~~~

Eventually duty called a bit too loudly, and Fíli groaned and sat up.

Kíli reached for a hand. “I am sorry Buttercup was in here last night. I don’t know how she got in.” He sounded worried.

“I forgive you this time,” Fíli said with a smirk. “She managed to not bother me.”

In the common room, Fíli studiously ignored the being in question as she rubbed against his legs purring. He had tiny scars to prove her inherent nastiness. She demanded attention - and expected it - but only when she wanted it. Try to show affection any other time and she was likely to draw blood.

“Orc dung,” he said, nudging her away. “Go bother the one who inexplicably likes you.”

“Oh leave the brute alone, little bean” Kíli smiled, scooping the cat up and kissing it. The minx purred. She never seemed to protest Kíli’s treatment, no matter what he did. “Are you hungry, sugar, are you?”

Fíli looked toward the sky in exasperation. Useless thing wouldn’t even work for her food. 

Yet the love Kíli bestowed on the cat was endearing. Fíli had tried refusing, barely resisting using the authority of his crown, but Kíli turned his own baby animal eyes on Fíli, and he knew he had lost. Fíli wouldn’t admit it, but seeing his brother’s happiness at having a pet often cheered him when he most needed it.

And so the king endured the mocking. Dwarves who had never said a word about who the king took as consort, about sibling lovers, now snickered about the royal pet, the queen bitch, and so on. 

~~~

More nights passed, and any time Kíli stayed out late, Fíli was careful to kick his little heater out of bed as soon as he heard his brother open the door to their chambers. It meant he didn’t sleep soundly until Kíli came home, but that had been the case most of the time anyway.

After an evening of song and drink, Fíli made his way to bed while Kíli stayed out a bit longer. The ale, the long day, and the rumbling purr of the cat put Fíli fast asleep. 

“Fíli!” He woke to Kíli’s voice with a start.

“Kee?” He muttered, then with worry in his voice, “what’s wrong?”

“Buttercup,” his brother responded frantically. “Have you seen her?”

Fíli was grateful for the dark as he felt his face redden. “No, I haven’t seen the cat.”

He looked side to side as if his eyes might pull a solution out of the chill air. 

“Oh no, she’s gone,” Kíli breathed as he plopped onto the bed, face in hands.

“Kíli, I’m sure she’s fine.”

“She’s not, a lot of dwarves don’t like her, I have to go find her.” He stood back up.

“Okay, well, I’m sure you’ll find her,” Fíli blurted the first thing that came to mind, thinking he’d have a chance to salvage the situation with Kíli out of the room.

Kíli turned, then paused. 

_Just go, come on, just go_ , Fíli silently begged.

“You’re not coming with me?” Kíli didn’t sound upset or hurt, just confused.

“Uh. What if she comes here?”

“We ask the guards to let her in, of course.” Kili turned around, still sounding confused.

Fíli was trapped, but this still might work out. “All right. Just give me a minute to get dressed.”

Kíli turned back away with a nod, and then stopped yet again. “What is that noise?”

“What noise?” Fíli said, of course too loudly, now silently begging the cursed cat to quiet down.

“That noise. That… purring … noise.” Kíli moved to the bed, and Fíli sighed.

“Fíli?” Kíli pounced on the bed, almost like a cat himself, and threw aside the covers. “Oh, Mahal, Fee, you’ve been sleeping with Buttercup!" he crowed. "This is rich.”

Fíli put his face in his hands. “I’m never going to live this down, am I?” he said with a muffled groan.


End file.
